This girl. You have no idea.
When I think about my feelings for her, I can only think of memories. You know, the kind of memories that you can think about when you’ve had an especially good day; a kind of memory that you compare the past 24 hours to, to see if it matches up. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, none of my 24 hours have ever matched up to the memories I’ve had with her.
Over the past two months, Krystle and I have been fighting. We’ve been fighting a lot. As a long distance couple, this was always something that we expected to happen. Whether it be because we’re just hungry and become grumpy, or because we’ve become impatient with having to deal with missing each other at such an intensity at the constant basis it’s always been at—it’s a grinding kind of pain that even the strongest wouldn’t be able to ignore. Too bad I’m not even close to feeling comfortable enough using the word “strong” as an adjective to apply to myself.
I’m an insecure bastard. Sad to say, it’s hard. Seeing every comment about her being so beautiful from anyone with anything resembling a penis puts me on edge. Another thread on some 4chan imitation board, every message saying “Hey, we should talk/be friends”. I can’t help myself. Not until I know that she’s safe with me—not until she’s where I can see her without the aid of these godforsaken computer monitors and fancy Skype programs. It’s the piece of this long distance that I struggle to be above, but will somehow end up getting the best of me.
Krystle on the other hand, is beyond “strong”. The life she’s been able to survive thus far is already cause for admiration. Even Xena The Warrior Princess would say “Seriously? Shiiiiiiit.” to her life story. Seeing that she’s been able to grow in to the woman that we all love and adore is no less than what I ever expected of her—she just hasn’t gotten around to believing it yet. Only now, after 15 years, does everything she’s buried underneath her smile and artistic abilities come up. Maybe it’s because of me. And yet even now, she still continues to keep trying.
For all of you who have stuck around, for those that show that Krizko is more than just a cute, gorgeous, beautiful, girl on the interwebz you’d like to bang, and especially for all of you boko customers who continue to have patience with us even when your order hasn’t been received yet, I can only cry knowing of your support for her. And if it’s not a small enough favor to ask for from an insecure boyfriend praying to every God he knows of for her to be able to one day move in with him soon, do it for her: please continue showing her your support. If there is anyone in this world that deserves to know how much love is out there for them, this girl is the one.
This goes out to you too, anonib, chansluts, 4chan, and motherless.
I wish I could thank you all personally for always being there for her. Maybe one day I will. Until then, I can only say that I will do my best to be the boyfriend that this woman deserves.
This girl. Be ready for her comeback.
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